Whether you prefer to rush, saunter, or simply walk into a public restroom when the time comes, you are inevitably presented with a choice: Which of the porcelain shrines shall be blessed with your presence. While sometimes there is only a single option, for the adventurers encountering multiple whitish doors, I humbly offer you the following strategies:(Quick note: you can rank them yourself on the UpGuppy Facebook application - here)
1. The Throne Room
Things certainly flow easier in a larger space. Perhaps some of us enjoy the minimal graffiti, or more of an open space that allows especially potent smells to diffuse. Whatever the case, the handicap stall is often the go to option.
2. The Covert Operation
For those less confident adventurers, flying under the radar may be a higher priority than the deed itself. In this case, the fear of detection sends these embarrassed bathroom goers to the stall furthest from the door... "They'll never find me here."
3. The Discussion Room
While open space does it for some, for others, nothing like a good conversation leads to uninterrupted flow. What better way to increase the chances of a conversation partner than choosing a stall with as many adjoining stalls as possible, hence you will find them somewhere in the middle.
4. The Work Station
"Get in get out" is the maxim of a certain high-powered group of restroom commandos. In this case the logical choice is the stall closest to the entrance for a more efficient arrival and departure. These distinguished persons stand in almost complete opposition to the covert operatives mentioned above and can almost always be heard checking emails while on the toilet.
5. Flexibility Option
In some of the more heavily traveled rest stops, public restrooms can be filled with all sorts of questionable characters. In this situation, one of the most commonly used strategies involves a little recon. The end goal is usually finding the stall farthest from the one with the weird noises. It seems to be a well known fact that weird noises are linked with uncomfortable smells.
6. The Green Stall
You will not find those who follow this strategy in public restrooms. For them the world is their restroom. A restroom full of open air, a restroom ideal for flying under the radar, a restroom filled with the conversations of mother nature, a restroom with no walls or doors to impede efficiency, and a restroom with infinite possibilities. From these few rebels a single phrase can be heard: "I only poop under trees."
And now for the best news of all! Everyone can rank and add their own favorite strategies on the UpGuppy Facebook application. Check it out.
http://apps.facebook.com/upguppy/ranking/23388
